Day 363: Do I know what my first post was?

It was tentative, like someone walking into an echoing, empty room and starting to talk to herself, self-conscious that someone unknown to her might be actually listening. The first few were like that, actually. I think it was November, 2003. Wow. I have just been rereading the first several entries. Nine years on, I do not know most of the people who commented then.

Yes, this entry is late. It was TDay. I was grateful for family and friends, but not grateful for my health, because that damned sneaky cold which I thought was ebbing, was not, so I could not smell a thing, or taste much of Thanksgiving at all. Very sad, it all looked great.

Day 364: Have I changed much in the past year?

No, not really. My beloved Rilke died, and I grieved a long time. Now I have a silly little kitten girl who needs to get spayed pronto. She's sweet, though I don't think she has all the personality depths and quirks that Rilke did. But it's early days. I am probably more emotionally free of M. than I have been in years. I think I am, net, unhealthier, and I need to work on blood sugars. I don't hate my job more -- I might like it a bit more, this year, in fact. I am intentionally and consciously not dating (whatever the slight hanging on of J. means, which is purposely platonic on my part anyway) and not doing that -- especially in its online variants -- makes me relieved and glad. I might be becoming slowly financially healthier -- I have only a couple more payments on my car, and then I can roll that money over to my single credit card, and I am slowly, slowly building up savings. Once the credit card is paid off, I should roll that money over to the school district's 413b or whatever that stuff is called, ugh.