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maeve66Day 8: What behaviors do you think will kill a relationship?
I don't really know. In two of my serious relationships, I did the breaking up, and in those cases, there were a lot of different things... in the second of them, I felt undervalued, misused, emotionally abused, and ... I don't know, it was so bad that the list could go on a depressingly long time. In two of my serious relationships, the other person did the ending and honestly, I don't know what killed the relationship for them. I thought it was alive and well. Or maybe not that. I felt that MY emotions had not changed. Obviously, theirs had.
If I imagine a relationship and think about what would kill it, I guess I think that imbalance of feelings would be heading in the deathly direction. Maybe cheating (see below), but I am not sure about that.
Day 9: Do you believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
Of people I know who have had affairs, one was absolutely serially unfaithful in one (fifteen year, about) relationship, and hasn't had any extracurricular activity at all in the second (almost thirty-five year) relationship. The other people I've known who have cheated (slept with someone else in what was understood to be a monogamous relationship) -- including me -- have only done it once, and it didn't end the primary relationship, though it caused conflict and unhappiness for a time. So I guess I don't think 'once a cheater, always a cheater'. Out here, in the Bay Area, or on the younger generation of the Left, or however you want to describe this, there are other ways to arrange things that would make cheating a non-issue. I'm not really too interested in those ways right now.
I don't really know. In two of my serious relationships, I did the breaking up, and in those cases, there were a lot of different things... in the second of them, I felt undervalued, misused, emotionally abused, and ... I don't know, it was so bad that the list could go on a depressingly long time. In two of my serious relationships, the other person did the ending and honestly, I don't know what killed the relationship for them. I thought it was alive and well. Or maybe not that. I felt that MY emotions had not changed. Obviously, theirs had.
If I imagine a relationship and think about what would kill it, I guess I think that imbalance of feelings would be heading in the deathly direction. Maybe cheating (see below), but I am not sure about that.
Day 9: Do you believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
Of people I know who have had affairs, one was absolutely serially unfaithful in one (fifteen year, about) relationship, and hasn't had any extracurricular activity at all in the second (almost thirty-five year) relationship. The other people I've known who have cheated (slept with someone else in what was understood to be a monogamous relationship) -- including me -- have only done it once, and it didn't end the primary relationship, though it caused conflict and unhappiness for a time. So I guess I don't think 'once a cheater, always a cheater'. Out here, in the Bay Area, or on the younger generation of the Left, or however you want to describe this, there are other ways to arrange things that would make cheating a non-issue. I'm not really too interested in those ways right now.